


See no evil, speak no evil.

by TravelingMystery



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Blind Character, Blind Dean Winchester, Frustration, M/M, Nonverbal Communication, Study Group, Swearing, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 07:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21352186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TravelingMystery/pseuds/TravelingMystery
Summary: Dean Winchester is happy to spend his days at school sleeping. He doesn't care about his grades, or his future. Who is going to hire a blind guy anyways? One of his teachers manages to talk Dean into trying to bring his grades up. Dean goes to meet the student who is expected to help Dean graduate in time. The thing his teacher didnt mention though, is that Cas is nonverbal. How is a nonverbal Castiel supposed to teach a blind Dean Winchester?
Comments: 11
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Silence Between](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19782397) by [charmin365](https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmin365/pseuds/charmin365), [Yvhvhvtke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yvhvhvtke/pseuds/Yvhvhvtke). 

Dean let out a small groan as he shifted on the couch. He had a small knot in his back that didn't want to undo, no matter what position he lay down in. Dean lazily reached for his phone to find something on Netflix. He loved his brother, but he just needed some time alone without pretending to care, or even understand the legal terms and cases Sam enthusiastically rattled off at him.

Dean perked up as he heard a small 'thump' of Sam setting down a book and picking a new one followed by a slow shuffle. Dean grinned as he knew Sam was walking and reading at the same time. Dean didn't see how anyone could know where they were and read at the same time. He had joyfully teased Sam about it and informed him that if he ever fell, Dean would laugh. Sam rolled his eyes at Dean and informed him he wouldn't, and it was perfectly safe.

Back on the couch, Dean held his phone and half listened to the show, and half internally laughed at Sam's mutterings as he read. A sudden "bang" from the kitchen followed by a loud exclaim from Sam pulled Dean's attention entirely into his little brother. "Are you ok, Sam?" he called. "Fuck, that hurt." he muttered. "Why did the chair move?" Dean turned off his phone before answering. "Mom used it as a step to clean the counters. How bad are you hurt?" Dean caught the rustling of fabric and assumed Sam was inspecting his leg for damage. "Probably just a bruise. Why was mom on the chair? You could have done it." Dean laughed at his little brother. "But then I wouldn't have been here on the couch to hear you fall all over yourself. You could have hurt me if you fell on me" Dean responded, pretending to sound hurt. Sam rolled his eyes to respond to Dean, but instead a loud sudden scream came from his mouth

"What the fuck?" Dean hissed sharply as he covered his ears and sat up quickly. the sharp snap of his back explained why he'd dreamed his back hurt. Leaning over a desk to sleep isn't the most comfortable position. unfortunately. his classmates answered him before his teacher did, a tall, slender, no-nonsense woman with a tendency to be as stubborn as her students. "Well I warned you Mr. Winchester that the next time you fell asleep in my class I would use an air horn to wake you," Dean glared in the general direction of his teacher. "I'm not that heavy of a sleeper." he said coldly. His teacher raised an eyebrow. "I intended it to be a deterrent for my students that have a habit of sleeping in my class. There are only a few minutes left, and I need to speak with you after the period ends." Dean huffed as his peers laughed again. "That's not a reason to treat me like I'm not a fucking person" Dean muttered angrily to himself before starting to collect his belongings.

Dean heard his teacher approach him as he was zipping his bag, the book hastily thrown in. The bell rang, and the following stampede informed Dean that his peers had run out of class to go home for the day. Dean sighed and sat up before turning to his teacher. "Let me guess. I'm failing. You're going to call my parents or have me take them a note to sign and return it." It wasn't the first time Dean had gotten this, speech from a teacher. Hall Shook her head sadly. "No, Dean. I'm afraid it's worse than that. The principal informed me you're in a dangerous situation. If you can’t pull your grades up in all your classes, you won't graduate." Dean laughed darkly. "So? I never expected to graduate. School isn't exactly my thing. Besides, it's not like I'll ever have a job anywhere besides my uncle's garage., don’t see why I need to graduate for that." His teacher frowned slightly. "You don't have any other goals? I've arranged with another student who will tutor you. He said he can meet you tomorrow." Dean shook his head. "No one would ever hire me, so what's the point? The best I can hope for is to get a small place close to the garage, work on the cars, and try not to be a burden on my family." His teacher pressed her lips together tightly. "You have a brother, don't you? He's a freshman this year. What would you say to him if you heard him say what you're telling me?" Sam, flunking out of school. Sam with no dreams. Sam, calling himself a burden. Dean's chest tightened as he said "I'd kick his ass for being stupid and thinking that." he mumbled. The edge of his teacher's lips twitched in a small smile. "So believe it or not, I'm trying to 'kick your ass' too. Do you know Castiel?" Dean shook his head quickly. "No, and I don't need another person being an ass to me. I have enough shit going on in ny life." Mrs. Hall looked sadly at Dean. "Believe it or not, I am trying to help you. I wouldn't have someone tutor you if I didn't think it would be a good fit. Castiel is sweet. A little blunt, but he has a big heart, and loves helping people. I'm sure if you give him a chance, you'll see what an amazing person he is." Dean sighed and rubbed his face. Despite the air horn, he liked Mrs. Hall. He hated history, but she seemed like an ok person.

Dean heard Mrs. Hall move to grab her things, and Dean took this as an invitation to leave. He grabbed his bag before checking his pants pocket for his wallet, keys, and phone. Mrs. Hall organized a stack of papers on her desk before speaking again. "I'm surprised you haven't seen him around. Dean let out a laugh as he unfolded the white cane he kept in his jacket pocket. "Is that supposed to be a joke? I can't see anybody. Never even seen my reflection." Mrs. Hall's jaw dropped. "No! I didn't mean it like that. I'm so-" Dean cut her off by raising his hand. "That was a joke. it's fine. So how will I find him in the library tomorrow?" The corner of Mrs. Hall's lip twitches into a small smile at Dean's agreement to try meeting Castiel for help. "He knows who you are, and he has agreed to greet you when he sees you." Dean nodded slightly. ,"Alright..." The soft footfall of Mrs. Hall indicated she had moved towards the door, so Dean took this as permission to leave, his white cane tapped softly on the linoleum as he began the ten-minute walk home. He sighed softly as he thought about what he had agreed to, and hoped Mrs. Hall was right about Castiel, and he would be a good tutor. As Dean walked the familiar path home, he silently cursed at himself for letting Mrs. Hall figure out his weakness. Dean loved Sam and would do anything for him even study.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tactile sign language in this story and chapter is the tactile sign language my friend (deaf) and I (poor vision without my glasses) use when she talks with me while I wash my glasses, or otherwise can't see her. It is not intended to be an accurate description of tactile sign language, only the way she and I talk.

Dean couldn’t help the cringe as he walked into the library the following day and heard his cane hit the base of the security system. Dean had been yelled at by Sam enough times to know that his cane hitting something firmly could pull someone away from their studies. It wasn’t like he could help it, though. Either the cane hit the alarm system, or he did. Years of practice had taught Dean that it is significantly less painful to have the cane find something in his path, than his face find it. Dean took a breath as he listened. The absence of any stern lecture informed him that his least favorite librarian must be working in the back, or in the bathroom, or anywhere-but-here Dean thought. He didn’t exactly frequent the library, but he had to come in to get his schoolbooks, and he had learned quickly which librarians were more helpful, and less likely to yell at him for making noise in the library. Again, it wasn’t that he was doing it on purpose. Dean walks up to the counter and waits, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. He can’t help the thought of how his life resembled a joke. “A blind man walks into a library” he thinks to himself before he hears footsteps in front of him. “Hello, Dean” he hears. Dean relaxes slightly when he hears the voice of the library assistant instead of the librarian. He has long ago learned to stop questioning how people know his name. Being the only blind kid at school makes you more noticeable, especially when the librarian must order copies of your required books in braille. Not that he spent much time reading them once he had them, but you know, government requirements and all that.

Dean cleared his mind and forced himself to focus. “Um, hi. I’m supposed to be meeting someone, but I don’t know who, or even where.” Dean didn’t want to admit he had attended school for nearly four years and didn’t know his way around the library, but he had never really had much of a reason to go beyond the desk to pick up his books. “I was told he would come and meet me, or something. He had a weird name. I think it started with a ‘C’” Dean continued. Unbeknownst to Dean, the assistant nodded. “Yes, Castiel. He informed us that he would be meeting you. He is currently in the rear computer room. If you follow along the desk until it ends, turn left. Then the door will be across from you. You can close the door behind you while you study.” Dean raised an eyebrow. “There’s a back computer room? Why does it have a door?” The assistant let out a small chuckle. “We generally use it for computer classes so the classes don’t disrupt others in the library, and Castiel requested to use it after school hours. There is a desk at the back, and chairs can be moved. It’ll give you two a quiet place to work, away from others.” Dean nodded slightly, and tried to ignore the feeling the librarian assistant was attempting to hide him from others before he walked with his cane in his left hand, using his right hand to lightly trail along the edge of the library counter before he positioned himself and began walking. “Straight” is not an easy concept when you can walk “straight” in any direction. For all Dean knew, he could be going diagonally, and it would still be straight. Once Dean hit the wall in front of him, he switched his cane to his right hand before he felt along the wall for the door. Dean felt the wall turn into the cool, hard wood of the door. He found the handle easily, and ignored the nagging feeling that Castiel was embarrassed to be seen with Dean as he had the door closed already before Dean even arrived. 

Dean tried to force his thoughts to stop racing. He couldn’t determine why he was so nervous, but he had a suspicion it had to do with trying, and still failing. Dean shook his head and opened the door quickly, easily slipping inside before he shut the door quietly behind him to avoid it slamming but loud enough to announce his presence so he can get Castiel’s attention if he is studying. Dean finds himself hoping that he doesn’t talk to an empty room if Castiel decided he had better things to do than tutor Dean. Dean cleared his throat slightly. “Hello?” He asked. To the right he heard a computerized voice say “Hello, Dean.” Dean rolled his eyes slightly. “I guess you got bored of waiting for me and decided to be funny.” Dean caught a few buttons being pressed before he heard the computer speak again. “No” was all it said. Dean can’t help the frustration he feels welling up. He said he would try to study, but this kid isn’t taking it seriously. Here he is trying to be the best big brother he can be, and this kid is mocking him. Dean hears himself snap “You know, I don’t need you mocking me. I’ve got enough shit to deal with.” He turns and reaches for the door handle. The metal is cold under his fingers that he feels warming with the anger rising inside him. Dean has just pulled open the door when he hears the computer behind him speak again. “I’m mute.” Through his anger, Dean almost didn’t hear the voice. He stopped suddenly and turned back towards the computer room. “What?” he asked as he felt his fingers slip off the door handle. Again, he heard the computer speak, this time he listened to find out if he had heard what he thought he had heard. “I’m mute” the computer said again. Dean turned towards the direction of the voice and found his voice had softened when he asked “Really?” Dean heard a small puff of air followed by the computer saying “Yes.” Dean found himself relaxing. “Well shit. I guess we both have enough shit to deal with. Now I feel like an ass.” He said. Dean found himself walking towards the sound of Castiel typing on the computer as he searched for a chair. “You were acting like an ass. I am not surprised you feel like an ass.” 

Dean couldn’t help but laugh as he sat down and scooted the chair in, causing a squeak. Dean didn’t miss the sound of skin striking skin and decided to reply before changing topics. “Ok, yeah. I’m an asshole, and I see what Mrs. Hall means by you being blunt. So… What happened?” Dean listened as he heard Castiel type quickly, obviously an experienced typist. “I prefer not to talk about it. It is in the past, and what happened happened a long time ago.” Dean frowned in confusion. “No, it just happened.” Dean couldn’t see the look of confusion between the two men before Castiel stated “I do not understand what you are talking about.” Dean still looking moderately confused answered “When I sat down, it sounded like someone got slapped. I didn’t get slapped, and to the best of my knowledge it’s just you and I in here, so… you slapped yourself?” Dean listened to the gentle sounds of the keys clicking as if the typing itself would answer his question. Dean listened carefully as the computer answered him “I… I do not like loud noises and your chair squeaked. I covered my ears, and it made the sound you heard. I assumed you were referring to why I am unable to speak. I do not like to share the full story, but the short version is that I was in a bad car accident as a child and I lost the ability to speak.” Dean let out a small sound before speaking softly. “Fuck. I’m sorry.” Castiel continued typing. “It’s alright. As I stated, it was a long time ago. I hardly remember the accident. Dean couldn’t help himself from nodding slightly. “Well, even so. I’m glad you’re ok. So… I know I made a complete ass of myself, but Mrs. Hall said you were willing to help me with studying,” Even though Dean couldn’t see it, Castiel nodded. “Yes. I will help you.” Dean couldn’t help the question escaping before he thought through what he wanted to say. “But why? You don’t even know me.”   
Castiel thought about his answer before he typed out “I may not know you personally, but I know of you. I know you are blind, which makes studying more difficult. You and I both share the experience of a more difficult life. I may not know you, but I can feel empathy for others despite what people think. I dislike seeing people struggle and wish to help where I can. Besides, you can’t judge what you can’t see.” Dean frowned as he listened to Castiel speak through the computer. “Why did people think you can’t show empathy, and what do you mean I can’t judge what I can’t see?” Castiel began typing in a new line. Based on the amount of time it took for him to answer, Dean was sure that he was re-writing his answer several times before he was satisfied with it. “The accident left me with some physical reminders. Most people don’t notice, but I can hardly forget. As for the empathy, sometimes people just have a hard time understanding those that communicate differently.” Dean nodded slightly. “So you just always use the computer to talk for you? What if the battery dies?” Castiel raised an eyebrow before typing. “There is this invention that I don’t believe you are aware of. It solves that issue almost 100% of the time. It is called paper.” Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, but I can’t read anything you write… Which is why you are using the computer.” Castiel continued typing. “My family also taught me sign language, and I can communicate with them by signing, and they speak back to me.” Dean couldn’t help but raise his eyebrow in surprise. “So you’re bilingual?” There was a pause before Castiel replied. “Yes, but I don’t generally think of it that way. It is just how I communicate. Sometimes one method is more convenient than a different method.” Dean nodded thoughtfully “Like when you’re talking to a blind guy…” Dean heard a small sound of air escape from Castiel before he heard the computer say “Exactly. There is tactile sign language, but that is only effective if the other person knows sign language as well, and I don’t assume you’ve met many people who primarily use sign language to communicate.” Dean shook his head. “No, I haven’t. I know my brother knows some though. He’s a genius. He’s jus started his freshman year and he is convinced he wants to be a lawyer when he grows up. I’m sure he’ll manage it if he decides to stick with it.” Castiel bit is lip slightly before typing and retyping his response. “You smile when you talk about your brother.” He finally stated.   
Dean felt his smile deepen. He hadn’t been aware he had started smiling, but it didn’t surprise him. “Yeah, I love him. He’s a little jerk, but I love him. Mrs. Hall used him to get me to come study.“ Dean pressed a button on his watch and listened as his watch stated the time in a voice much too similar to Cas’s voice. “Which we’ve already used half of our time today, and we haven’t even begun to study.” Castiel thought about it before he answered slightly. “Well, we need to get to know each other a little before we start studying. How would you feel if a computer began trying to teach you calculus?” Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “I would think that my watch was haunted. You sound the same.” Dean heard a small puff of air escape from Castiel again, and silently wondered if this was how he laughed. Dean felt a grin tug at his lips as he wondered how in thirty minutes, he had gone from being terrified to joking with his new study buddy, or today his not-so-study buddy. Dean picked up his cane, realizing he hadn’t folded it and put it away. “So, what is the plan? If we’re not studying today, when are we going to study?” Castiel thought about it before typing. “We can continue to meet after school here or depending on your comfort level we can go to one of our houses if you feel we need longer than an hour. If you come over to my house however there will be one sided conversation as my family doesn’t respond in sign language.” Dean nodded as he thought about it. “Well, I think wherever we go, you’ll mostly be using the computer, so whatever is easier for you. “   
Castiel bit his lip softly as he looked at the young man across from him. He usually wouldn’t look at someone for as long as he had been, but he had to admit the lack of accidental eye contact helped. He found himself looking over Dean’s features. He couldn’t decide if he had a hard face, or a soft face. Dean’s face seemed a perfect balance between sharp lines and gentle curves. Castiel found himself wondering if Dean knew how beautiful he was with that dirty blonde hair, and his soft full lips. One advantage to being mute that Castiel had found was he didn’t have to worry about accidentally saying something he would regret. Castiel thought quickly before typing back. “I usually study at the kitchen table. It’s helped me to create a study area. It may help you focus to have an area already designed to study.” Dean nodded in agreement. “It couldn’t hurt.” Dean listened as Castiel stood up. Dean frowned slightly and pulled his cane out of his pocket having just put it away. “Were we going now?” Dean sat there in silence, waiting for a sound. Any sound. After a few seconds he spoke up. “Um, Castiel? Are we going to your house, or going separate ways?” Dean heard Castiel typing quickly. “Sorry, I turned away and nodded without thinking about it. We can go to my house. I will text may parents to let them know, but this means that once I put my laptop away we won’t be able to talk until we are back at my house, and it is about twenty minutes away.”   
Dean relaxed, thinking he had upset his new companion. “Ok, thanks for the warning. I guess we won’t be able to talk. So um… Do you know how sighted guide works?” Castiel typed a quick “No.” Dean stood up, being careful to not make the chair squeak again. “Ok, basically, I don’t want to lose you, and I need to go where you go. For me, the easiest way since I can’t follow your voice is sighted guide. I hold onto your elbow. This causes you to walk in front of me, and I can feel if there are stairs, or hills. Anything I would usually learn from my cane, but without the possibility of losing you.” Castiel sat quietly for a few seconds before typing out. “Ok. I don’t always have the energy for physical contact, so please don’t surprise me by grabbing onto me.” Dean shook his head. “I generally prefer to use my cane, but like I said. I can’t exactly follow your voice unless you want to play music from your computer for me to follow.” Castiel let out a small puff of air, and Dean felt certain now that this was how he laughed. “Battery” Castiel typed. Dean nodded in agreement. “Yeah, plus with the after school getting out it may be hard to hear. Probably better in a quieter area. Castiel typed quickly. “It is ok, but please ask first. I am going to put my laptop away now and won’t be able to speak until we reach my car.” Dean nodded. “Ok.” He said before he folded his cane again and put it back into his pocket. Dean slung his backpack up onto his shoulders and felt his muscles complain about the weight of his braille books. He ignored it though. He knew they would adjust soon enough.   
Dean slowly extended a hand slightly, unsure of where Castiel was. “Hey Castiel? Are you sure this is ok? I know you said you don’t like to be touched. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Dean jumped when he felt a gentle hand on his hand. He felt Castiel’s strong hand carefully take his hand. Dean thought Castiel planned to lead him by the hand before Dean felt a fist gently pressed to the inside of his hand. Dean frowned as the fist rocked in his hand. “I assume this is sign language, but I don’t know what you’re saying.“ Dean said partially embarrassed and partially sad that he lost the ability to communicate with Castiel. Dean felt as Castiel raised Dean’s hand and gently straightened it before placing Dean’s hand on the side of his head. Dean felt Castiel’s hair against his fingers and felt the five ‘o’clock shadow brush against his palm as Castiel nodded and then moved Dean’s hand to cup a fist again and rocked his fist again. Dean frowned slightly as he thought as Castiel let go of his hands. “Are you saying ‘yes’?” he asked. Dean couldn’t see the grin, but he did hear the gentle clapping from Castiel. Dean grinned, proud to have figured it out. “So, then what’s ‘no’?” he asked. Dean held out his hand again and concentrated as he felt Castiel’s thumb at his palm and felt two fingers slide down his hand to meet Castiel’s thumb. Dean nods in understanding before gasping and pulling back slightly. “Hey, you said we wouldn’t study until we got to your house.” Dean grinned as Castiel let out a small puff of air. Castiel responded by taking his arm and placing it against Dean’s hand, inviting him to take hold of Castiel. Dean carefully held on and told Castiel “Make sure to tell me if this isn’t ok.” Dean frowned slightly when a single digit tapped his forehead. “You’ll have to tell me that one later.” He said. Dean felt Castiel begin to walk and followed behind him as Castiel lead him out to the parking lot. 

Dean listened carefully for cars, and after assuming, hoping, praying, that Castiel looked for cars, they began to walk through the parking lot, though Dean will admit he didn’t hear any cars moving nearby. Dean stopped walking when Castiel stopped and then pulled his arm away. Dean let go quickly and felt Castiel take his wrist. Castiel raised Dean’s hand and placed it on the handle of a car next to him. Taking the hint, Dean opened the door and got in, quickly buckling his seat belt. “What type of car is this?” he asked. Dean sat there waiting for an answer before speaking. “Right. I forgot.” He said quietly. They sat there for a few seconds before Dean felt Cas start squirming. Dean frowned and wanted to ask Castiel if he was ok, but he knew he couldn’t answer. Dean felt something brush his hand, and he reached out to investigate. Dean realized Castiel was offering his phone to Dean. Dean frowned and took it. “I can’t use your phone. I won’t see what I’m pressing, and it doesn’t speak to me like mine does… OH.” 

Dean pulled out his phone quickly, and after holding the speaker close to his ear and tapping a few buttons he handed it to Castiel. Dean waits patiently before he feels his phone against his hand. Dean takes the phone and presses the screen reader code before listening to the note typed. “I drive a gold 1978 Lincoln Continental Mark V. Now please don’t need me to talk so I can drive. You can play music, if you want. Dean grinned as he opened the radio app on his phone and began playing what was on the radio on the rock station. He smiled as he heard Castiel start the car. Halfway through the second song, Dean noticed a small tapping sound coming from Castiel, and realized he was tapping along to the beat. Dean relaxed back into the passenger seat. “I’m going to have to send Mrs. Hall some flowers or something if this continues as well as it is right now.” He thought to himself as Castiel drove them to his house.


	3. Chapter 3

Once the car stopped Dean reached for his seatbelt but paused when he felt Cas place a hand gently on his. Dean stopped moving, and turned towards Cas, unsure of what he was trying to communicate. He felt Cas shift and realized that Castiel was reaching for his laptop. Dean sat patiently as he waited for Castiel to pull out the laptop and open it. Once Castiel had the program open, he began to type. “My brother is home. Gabe can be a little difficult. I want to warn you, because you will probably be targeted by him. He does mean well, but he has a unique sense of humor.” Dean nodded. “When you say ‘a little difficult’ you mean…” Castiel typed quickly. “Ranging somewhere between brotherly love, and a complete asshole.” Dean chuckled softly but stopped when he realized Castiel was serious. “Ok, fine. I’m sure it’s nothing I can’t handle.” Castiel nodded slightly before typing “I just wanted to warn you before we went inside. I will need to put my laptop away, but I will set it up again at the table. I typically use sign language with my family as it is easier for me, but they don’t sign back. You will likely hear a lot of out of context comments, but I will try and explain when I can. Would you prefer to use your cane, or sighted guide?” Dean listened to Castiel as he thought about it. “I mean, I can use my cane. Hell, I’ve had eighteen years of practice. I don’t want to knock anything over though if you have like a fancy vase precariously perched on a table or something.” Castiel let out his small puff of air laugh before informing Dean “We don’t have anything that I would assume you would be able to break. I just want you to be comfortable.” Dean smiled slightly at the statement from Castiel before saying “I’d like to use my cane. I prefer to not always be led everywhere.” Castiel typed a quick “Ok. I will tap things, so you know where to go.” 

Dean felt his lip twitch at the consideration of Castiel before he heard Castiel’s laptop closing. Dean grabbed his backpack and exited the car after Castiel opened his own door. Dean quickly unfolded his cane before he heard Castiel walk. Dean caught the sound of Castiel tapping on the hood of the car and followed him. “Castiel, I can hear your feet when there aren’t so many people around. I’m kind of used to using my ears to get around.” Dean jumped slightly when Castiel lightly tapped his shoulder. “Ok, you’re going to have to explain that later” Dean commented. He felt Castiel gently take his own hand that wasn’t holding the cane before signing “Yes” quickly. Dean took this as confirmation that Castiel would explain when he had the laptop in front of him and continued to follow Castiel’s footsteps up to the door. After hearing the sound of a key scraping and turning in the lock, Dean heard the door open wide, wider that he would usually open a door, and he felt that Castiel was trying to make sure he found the entrance. He walked through and paused as Castiel shut the door. 

As soon as the door was open, Dean noticed a sweet smell and smelled the air. “Did someone bake cookies?” he asked and held his hand straight up in front of him, hoping Castiel would take this as invitation to answer his question. Much t Dean’s appreciation, he felt Cas sign “Yes” against his hand. Dean smirked in the general direction of Cas. “Man, you really go all out when you have company over.” Dean joked and then laughed as he felt Castiel sign “No”. Dean followed him to the table. After pausing as he heard Castiel set down his backpack and laptop case Dean asked, “Where would you like me to sit?” Castiel reached out and guided Dean’s hand to the back of a chair. Dean folded his cane before sitting down. As Dean moved to sit down, he heard a timer go off and jumped slightly at the unexpected sound which was quickly followed by a joyous call of “Cookies!” from down the hall. Dean listened to the eager footsteps as someone walked into the kitchen to silence the timer and remove the cookies from the oven. Dean heard the unknown person stop, and glance in their direction. “Cassie, you made a friend.” The voice said excitedly. “Here I thought you had completely given up on the human species." Dean could feel his cheeks grow warm. The familiar sound of typing answered Dean and he heard Castiel’s computer speak back “Dean, this is my brother Gabe. He’s the one I warned you about.” Dean turned around to face the disembodied voice from the kitchen. “Nice to meet you.” He said politely before holding out his hand. Dean heard a gasp, and then the sound of Gabe walking over. “Oh, so your friend has a name! Good job, Cassie. I’m so proud of you.” Dean frowned when he heard a strangled sound from Castiel before Gabriel laughed. “Oh, come on Cassie. You can’t just bring a friend home and not expect a noogie in front of them.” Dean listened as he heard quiet wisps of air escape from Castiel and could tell he was signing frantically to Gabe. Dean heard Gabriel laugh before turning to Dean. “So how much of that did you catch?” Dean raised an eyebrow. “Um… None. Can’t see it.” He said as he motioned to his closed eyes. Gabriel grinned before turning to Cas again. “Now I see why he’s your friend. You found someone who can’t see how weird you are” Dean frowned and opened his mouth to reply before Gabriel laughed loudly. “What a mouth you have, Castiel. Well, anyways there are warm cookies. Help yourself you two. Or, I guess, Castiel, help both of you.” Dean listened as he heard footsteps retreating. 

“Sorry” was all Castiel said. Dean’s frown grew deeper. “Dude, where do I even start? Is he always like that? What was the noise you made? What did you say? What did he mean I can’t see how weird you are?” Dean listened to Castiel type for nearly a full minute before he received his answers. “Yes, that is a fairly standard greeting from Gabriel if I have company over. He seems to simultaneously enjoy me being social and seeing how much he can get away with before the company never return. As for the noise, I am vocal but nonverbal. I can make a couple of sounds, but unable to say any words. I believe the closest translation of that sound and the sign language would be “Get the hell away from me and stop rubbing my head with your knuckles.” Dean raised an eyebrow slightly as the computer continued. “As for the shorter sentence, I settled on a much simpler “Fuck you” Dean felt a small twitch of a smile forming before the computer stopped speaking. “And I can’t see how weird you are?” he asked again, softly. Castiel began typing again. “Dean, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this, but it appears Gabriel hasn’t left me any choice. I am sorry to tell you, but you are blind. You can’t see me.” Dean raised his eyebrow again. “I was wondering more about the ‘how weird you are’ part. I assume it is something I would notice if I wasn’t blind?” Castiel let out a small, sad sound before typing “Yes, and I know it isn’t fair to not provide you with the same information that others receive who aren’t blind but I just… I was hoping it wouldn’t come up and you wouldn’t care that I was asked to tutor you, but now Gabe has ruined that, and you will have to find a new tutor.” Dean frowned and asked softly “Why?” From down the hall Dean heard a slightly muffled “Play ‘major tom’ by Peter Schilling!” Dean winced slightly as the volume on Castiel’s computer suddenly went full volume and responded loudly “Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.” Dean heard Gabriel laugh. “Castiel?” he asked softly. “What is going on?” Castiel let out a small breath before typing two simple words. “I’m autistic.” 

Dean sat there at the table frowning in confusion. “Wait, seriously?” Dean felt the eyeroll behind the huff that Castiel let out before he typed “Are you going to question the validity of everything I tell you?” Dean shook his head. “No, I just… I thought people that have autism were…. You know…” Dean winced as the words tumbled out of his mouth before he thought about their possible impact. “That what? That we’re stupid? Unable to care for ourselves? Unable to function? That we should be institutionalized?” Dean winced. He knew the monotone computer voice was unable to provide the inflection or anger that he was sure Castiel was feeling. Dean shook his head quickly. “No, none of that. Just um… Not great at communicating, and unable to handle physical contact. You must be high functioning!” he said with a smile. From down the hall, Dean heard Gabriel laugh “Oh my god, don’t get him started. I hope you don’t have anywhere to be for a while because you’re in for a lecture now.” Dean found himself speaking at the same time as Castiel’s computer. “Dude, privacy please.” Dean called at the same time as Castiel’s computer, back on full volume, loudly read “Leave us alone Gabe.” Dean heard Gabriel laugh again before he called out “Ok, ok.” Dean heard Gabriel shut his bedroom door before he returned his attention onto Castiel. “Apparently I said something wrong.” Dean sat and listened to Castiel type frustratedly. “Yes, several things you said were incorrect. First, I do not ‘have autism’ as you stated. I am autistic.” Dean frowned. “What is the difference? Isn’t it polite to say you have autism?” Castiel typed quickly back. “I ‘have autism’ in the same way you ‘have blindness.’ Dean cringed slightly at the wording. It just sounded wrong. “Autism is part of who I am. I am unable to separate it from anything I do, or what happens throughout my day. I am a person with blue eyes. I am a person with a blue shirt. Neither of these are important to who I am. I am not a person with muteness. I am mute. It is inseparable. It is the same thing with you being blind, and me being autistic. Everything I do, I do how I do it because I am autistic. It is an interictal part of who I am.” 

Dean listened carefully to Castiel “Ok, but if you…are autistic… why does everyone make a big deal out of making sure people say you ‘have autism’?“ Castiel typed back quickly. “Because there is a surprising number of adults who do not let their children speak for themselves and refuses to listen to autistic adults. They seem to forget that autistic adults started out as autistic children. They insist that their children are unable to advocate, and don’t have a voice. They insist on being their child’s voice and speak over what other autistic people say is preferred. It is estimated that at least 80% of autistic adults prefer being referred to as ‘autistic’ and not ‘having autism.’ Dean bit his lip as he listened. “Ok, I hear you. You are autistic. Why did bringing up that you’re high functioning upset you?” Dean spoke softly, not wanting to upset Castiel. It seemed too late as he listened to Castiel type before hearing his answer. “Functioning labels don’t describe the amount of support needed by the individual. They state how much my diagnosis impacts those around me. Think about it, Dean. Do you know what I struggle with? How I feel in different situations? How hard different tasks are for me?” Dean thought about it before shaking his head. “No, I don’t.” he answered. “But you can drive, and you can talk… with the computer. I mean obviously you do better than others.” Dean heard a small sigh from Castiel before he began typing again. “Again, neither of those says how I am impacted. They state only what others see. I have my strong areas, and I have my weaker areas. Imagine in front of you there are two people. Both are autistic. One of them can hide most of their movements that come naturally called ‘stims’ They are able to look at other people, and pretty much can hide that they are autistic. The second person dissolves into fits of crying, screaming, and uncontrollable movements that can occasionally result in physical harm to themselves. They are unable to organize things without help, unable to attend appointments without help, and unable to say what they want or are thinking. Without reminders to drink water, they become so dehydrated hospitalization can be required because they simply don’t feel if they’re thirsty. Which person is ‘high functioning’?” Dean frowned as he thought about it, trying to find the trick. “Obviously the first person.” Castiel typed simply “And the second person?” Dean answered slowly, still looking for the trick. “The second person is low functioning.” Castiel typed back “They’re both me, just in different situations.” 

Dean felt like he had been punched in the stomach. “Really? I mean… Sorry. I know I keep doing that. Fuck, Cas. That sounds…hard.” Castiel let out a small puff of air. “It is all I have ever known. I don’t know anything different. I do not even understand it all the time. I just must go along with it because I don’t have a choice. I have learned how to avoid things I am unable to deal with. I am aware of what my limits are, and I try to surround myself with people I know will respect when I say I am done.” Dean nodded as he listened. “I… I think I get it.” Castiel typed back. “Well good. You may not be completely hopeless when it comes to studying if you are picking things up this quickly.” Dean frowned. “You know, the monotone voice makes it a bit difficult to tell if you are joking or not.” Castiel smirked to himself as he typed back “A monotone voice is frequently attributed as a symptom of autism.” Dean bit his lip softly. “Right… I’m sorry. I think… I think I should go.” Castiel typed back quickly. “Jike!” Dean stopped and turned back to Castiel. “What?” Cas typed back “Joke. I was joking, and then mistyped. I am sorry my computer is unable to easily express when I am joking. I agreed to tutor you, Dean. I am sorry I made you uncomfortable.” Dean felt his body relax as he let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “It’s ok. But maybe we should come up with a sign for when we are joking, so we know the other understands it’s a joke.” Dean waited for Castiel to reply “I have an online friend. We put everything in Tilds.” Dean frowned at Castiel. “Um…” Castiel continued. “It is the squiggly line on a keyboard that looks like a sideways S. We put three on each side of a joke, so we know the other is telling a joke. For example, I would say ‘squiggle squiggle squiggle I love when the beach is crowded. Squiggle squiggle squiggle.” Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “We can use squiggle. That works.” Castiel made a small content sound. 

Dean bit his lip before asking, not wanting to ruin Castiel's good mood. “So, can I ask why Gabe wanted me to play Major Tom?” Dean listened as Castiel’s keyboard clicked quickly followed by “No no no no no.” Dean raised an eyebrow. “I think your keyboard glitched. That, or you seriously dislike that song.” Castiel bit his lip before lowering the volume on his computer and tying back “I like the song.” Dean found himself feeling confused. “You lowered the volume. Is that you you whisper?” Castiel lowered the volume again, feeling embarrassed before saying “Yes.” Dean laughed softly. “Wow, Castiel. That’s clever. You’ve figured out how to yell and whisper with the computer.” Castiel huffed softly before raising the volume back to its standard volume and typing back “Squiggle Wow Dean. That’s clever. You’ve figured out how to walk without seeing. Squiggle” Dean chuckled. “Ok, point maid. You’ve had years of practice. You know how to yell and whisper. So now, if you like the song why do you feel so strongly about it not being played?” Castiel chewed on his lip before he typed back. “When I hear it, I start stimming. Those are the repetitive movements people make for self-regulation, or comfort, or to express themselves. Everyone does it, but autistic people do it differently. Allistic people tend to bounce a leg, or click a pen, or rock in a rocking chair. Those are the stims society has decided are appropriate. When I get excited… I move differently. Gabe gives me a hard time about it, and I get embarrassed when he brings attention to it.” Dean frowned. “How do you move?” Dean sat and listened to the seemingly endless stretch of silence before Castiel typed. “Not today. Maybe at another time.” Dean nodded. “Ok. Well, should we begin studying?” 

Dean jumped at the sound of Castiel standing up quickly and walking away at a hurried pace. Dean frowned to himself. “Um, Did I say something wrong? Am I supposed to leave?” Dean sat in the silent kitchen by himself before quick footsteps alerted him to Castiel’s return. Castiel sat down out of breath and began typing. “Sorry, I got excited. I forgot to tell you, but I went to grab something.” Dean nodded slowly. “Yeah, I noticed… squiggle?” Dean was rewarded with the small happy puff from Castiel before he heard a plastic bag crinkle on the table. He listened as several items were quickly pulled from the bag and laid on the table. “What is that?” Dean asked, unsure If he could touch. Castiel typed out quickly. “Feel!!” Dean reached out gently with both hands and allowed his fingers to graze the items in front of him. He found a bag of shapes, a rectangle about 6” high, and 12” wide, and several sheets of foam. “I don’t know what any of this is.” He admitted to Castiel. Castiel grinned before he opened the bag of shapes. He listened to the gentle ‘click’ and realized they must be magnets. He didn’t know how Castiel had gotten from studying to magnets, but Dean wasn’t complaining. Dean sat patiently as Castiel passed him the rectangle, and Dean felt the magnets on it. He recognized them as letters and allowed his fingers to pass over them as he forced his brain to connect the letters to words in his head. “Call me Cas?” He asked softly. Dean grinned when Cas clapped softly. 

“Ok, so you got magnets and a board. It seems slower than the computer, so I’m sure you have an ulterior motive for them.” Cas grinned at Dean. “Yes, we can use the letters to help mark the parts of speech, and work on spelling with your English studies. I needed to find a format we would both be able to communicate in. Dean nodded and allowed his fingers to find the thin sheets of foam again. “And the foam? What is that for?” Cas took one of the sheets and popped out some of the numbers and letters and placed them in front of Dean. Cas then guided Dean’s hand to the foam shapes. “10x 5?” Dean asked before gasping and sitting up straight. “You’re going to try teaching me math?” Castiel let out a loud “Ah” sound as he laughed for real, instead of huffing out air. Dean grinned to himself and decided to milk it, thrilled to see Cas so happy. “Come on, Cas. I don’t want to do math.” He said before laying his head down on his arms. “I’m no good at math. What if I refuse?” Dean sat up when he realized Cas wasn’t making any noise. He wasn’t laughing or typing. He was sitting so still Dean would swear he wasn’t there, if it wasn’t for the lack of chair moving or footsteps leading away. “Cas?” he asked softly. Castiel slowly typed out. “If you bring your grade up to a ‘C’ in math, I’ll play Major Tom for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Castiel's autistic tendencies are based off of my own, and obviously won't apply to everyone. This story features a lot of situational information that shouldn't be applied to everyone.

**Author's Note:**

> Many traits of the main characters are based off real people I know who are blind, or nonverbal and have agreed to me sharing their perspective in the story. The communication methods and information will not be applicable to everyone as they are person specific and not situation specific.


End file.
